Imagine you had only 6 days to live….

This was the reality that confronted my friend. Given only days to prepare, he took the unusual decision to reject his prognosis and decide to live, not in an angry, bold way you might imagine, but with quiet perseverance. He set some rules for himself, which changed his life and ultimately his lifespan.

Winston Churchill once said,
“we make a living by what we get,
we make a life by what we give.”

Hopefully as we get older, we get wiser, and make some adjustments along the way. This week I had a situation present itself, that frankly tested me.

But here is what I learned and applied and share the perspective in case it can be of assistance to you.

There are times a surprise letter/email/phone call/score/ comes your way, you’d rather keep passing, like pass the parcel, willing the music to continue so the information can not land in your lap. But it does. And in the silence, you unwrap the present, not with joyful anticipation, but trepidation. Here are the 6 tips I apply in dealing with unwelcome news.

1. Breathe.
I wrote in my last blog about soft belly breathing and the approach really works. It takes a little deliberateness (set your alarm if necessary, but you’ll be shocked how calming this is).

2. Literally shake off any trepidation.
There’s a reason dogs’s shake themselves off after a firery encounter. The science shows that the action of vigorous movement (shaking, dancing) is incredibly cathartic.

3. Avoid the temptation to respond emotionally and carefully gather the facts. It is quite confronting to realise that helplessness is an approach that can be a learned response. At its rawest place it can serve you in getting attention/sympathy and support. But it doesn’t empower. To move past the temptation of helplessness, ask clarifying questions to scope the situation before responding.

4. Garner support, an ally, a mentor and friend. Whether in business or otherwise, two heads are better than one. Perspective, education and insight are useful to keep a cool head.

5. Create a plan and accountability to attend to it. This also builds on the empowerment point at 3. So long as you can claw back some semblance of control, then you will be able to move beyond your predicament.

6. Make decisions to keep your body strong and mind alert. Avoid the temptation to eat and drink your way through testing situations. (I have been a shocker for this in the past). Instead, exercise even when you don’t feel like it. Make food choices that will support, not sabotage your efforts.

Wherever this note finds you, I encourage you to live with courage. We all have our stuff, but we are not the people we were years ago. Fortunately we do evolve. It may not feel like a gift at the time, but invariably there will be a lesson and opportunity beyond what you see in the present. Literally.